Wanna see me get mad?

[rootofnewt]

If you're a friend of mine and you use the word "gay" as a synonym for stupid, wrong, lame, etc, please understand that *every single time you do this*, it cuts me. And when I say kids die because of word choice like that, I mean it. When you say something like math homework is so gay, you demean human beings. How would you like it if your gender, race, or religion were a synonym for stupid, dull, and lame? Sure, the witty part of my brain rejoinders Math must be pretty damn cool then, but that's only because I'm an adult with a reasonably well developed sense of identity and self-worth. I also happen to like math, but that's not important here.

When you keep using gay like that, people start to believe it. The gay kid sitting next to you believes it. The kids around you who might or might not be gay believe it. The belief that gay people are somehow abnormal persists and it can lead to pain, violence, and death.

Some stats show that 30% of all teen suicides are LGBT youth. LGBT teens are two to six times more likely to commit suicide than their non-LGBT peers. There are many reasons, but the near constant barrage of homophobic comments that so many people toss off without thinking contributes to the decay of self-worth (it also contributes to violence perpetrated against LGBT folk) and the isolation many gay people experience.

So when I say that using words like fag and gay as pejorative terms kills kids, I mean it. And I hold anyone who uses them responsible for the pain, violence, and death those words inflict whether directly or indirectly.

Comments

[tannhaus.livejournal.com]

First off...the original discussion:

You said you needed company....you can come by and eat my food...do your nails..whatever..just provide company. I replied it wouldn't be cost efficient to come way out there to eat your food..and i would sit around and paint my nails...but that would just be gay.

Using gay with that meaning....doing something usually associated with the opposite sex...is NOT the grievous insult you would put it off as. Also, I say since the comment came from a bisexual that I deserve even more leeway.

Third, you know my brother committed suicide because of my parents' refusal to accept his homosexuality. To sit there and accuse me of being responsible for the deaths of everyone that has killed themselves due to difficulties with society seeing them as gay...that is beyond heinous. You have blamed me for my brother's death.

So, you can keep your political correctness. I spent 6 hours with my brother's body alone before the police came. Your tapping into those feelings and blaming me for that....the very fact you could do that proves we never had a friendship.

[krasota.livejournal.com]

You just don't get it. That saddens me, but hey.

And no, I didn't know about your brother. I'm sorry you lost him and I'm sorry your parents never accepted him.

[tannhaus.livejournal.com]

Oh, I DO get it. You don't. You skewed what was said...didn't even repeat what was said...because then you couldn't crawl up on your soapbox. You should have asked them how many of them would pat you on your back when they knew you blamed someone for a family member's suicide. I spoke to one person that posted in here...told them what was said and they didn't see it as a big deal.

Yet you....there aren't words to describe a person like you. You're a cold heartless bitch. You knew about my brother committing suicide. Most people I talk to do. That was a major reason I moved to New Orleans. Then you sit there, blame *ME* for his death and want to act all politically correct and compassionate.

No, I used a word...not to mean wrong...not to mean "lame" as you put it...which is incidentally someone who can't walk. Funny how that term is fine in your book. I guess it's not politically correct enough of a cause to champion. I used the word gay to mean doing something normally associated with the opposite sex. For that you blamed me for my brother's suicide and every other gay's suicide.

So, pat yourself on the back all you want. You disgust me. This is the last you will ever hear from me.

[bbick.livejournal.com]

I just can't believe a person who lost a gay brother to suicide would use the term "gay" in such a manner as you did and not think twice about it. krasota is totally right.

And I don't know what leeway you think you deserve as a bisexual person, but I'm gay, and I'm telling you I found your remark offensive. And I find it even more offensive that you would call a friend of mine who is trying to educate the world and make it a better place a cold heartless bitch.