*stabs eyes with spork*

[rootofnewt]

So, apparently Apple will not replace our ibook yet. they seem to have some sort of odd computer-ruled system that allows customer care and tech specialists to input certain criteria, then the computer (which I shall call Zod) determines whether the customer has suffered enough.

Okay. . . . do they LIKE doing expensive repairs this often? I could have had a kid in the time I've received three new logic boards and had four fail. If this weren't a covered repair under Apple's lemon policy, I'd have shelled about at least $1200 bucks at this point. Well, no, I wouldn't have . . . each repair fell within (just) the 90 day covered deadline of the temporary AppleCare given for each repair.

Still . . . they send a DHL/Airborne express driver to our house *twice* for each repair. They pay for the shipping to Tennessee and back. They pay for the labor and parts, though I'm sure it's on a contract and at cost.

At what point does Apple suck it up and simply replace what is obviously a lemon?

I'm pretty sure I know what criterion was missing . . . bitchiness. explodingcat doesn't have it in him to be bitchy, even after waiting on hold for an hour. That said, I try to be nice to customer service--it's not fun dealing with irate people every day. At one point should we cut our losses and make the poor, underpaid, under-bathroom-breaked call center employee cry?

*sigh*

Comments

[zeldajean.livejournal.com]

I'll do it. Give me the relevant details, and I'll get you a new ibook. I'm one of those poor underpaid under-bathroom-breaked call center employees, and goddammit they do NOT want to argue with my demands after I have listened to the assholes who lease $LuxuryVehicleBrand all damn day!

[achanchinou.livejournal.com]

According to my husband, who at one point worked in a call center, the way to get what you want (if it's the case that the employee is graded on time-per-call and cannot hang up on you) isn't bitchiness. Some poor callcenter employee will get their revenge circuit fixed by making damn sure you don't get what you want if you go onto bitchiness. (this doesn't work if they're not graded on time, and don't bother being willing to hold them on the phone for more than about 30 minutes because then they're just making their $15 an hour that hour in a cushy fashion all because of you)

Anyway, assuming this is the case, the answer is to be polite, but firm, and make it clear that you're going to be on the phone *with that person* until they do what you want. Have a cordless phone, snacks, tv with sound off you can watch. Be willing (and make it clear) that you're with them until they get you what you want. And eureka. :) New laptop.

[zeldajean.livejournal.com]

oh so very true :)

and, at least where I am, there's no $15/hr. sadly.

[achanchinou.livejournal.com]

Hubby got that at Comcast in Massachussets - except he was technically supposed to be in New Hampshire. They just hadn't opened the new call center yet. For various reasons we left and came back to Georgia, though. :)

[krasota.livejournal.com]

Seeing as how we've been on the phone with them for approximately two hours per incident, I seriously doubt this would matter. And keeping someone on the phone like that *does* qualify as bitchiness in my book. I certainly wasn't going to call and curse at the poor souls--that's just vulgar.

[achanchinou.livejournal.com]

The apple folk must not be timed on their calls, then, or you would've already gotten to that point. You might just start off "Look, it'd be cheaper for you to just replace it, it's been repaired 320835713985 times, just replace it." and then don't take no for an answer? I don't know if that'll work. I've only ever dealt with apple support once.

[jenx.livejournal.com]

Don't take it out on call center personnel. Ask for the mailing address of customer service, then look online (or ask customer service) for the office mailing address of the highest Apple person you can find. Because it's time to write

THE LETTER.

Don't use all caps. Give a precise timeline of the problem, the attempts to rectify it, and the failures. Stress how much you love the company and its products, but how very let down you feel in this matter. Ask what you and Apple can do to fix this problem.

Don't forget to cc: the letters to each other, so CS knows that Steve Jobs got it, and so Jobs knows that this has gone through CS several times without resolution.

[futabachan.livejournal.com]

The person on the phone does, in fact, have some discretion to authorize a replacement. Pitch a major fit at them, and you may get some results....

[the-revolution.livejournal.com]

It's actually really easy to get apple to replace a problem machine ; as far as the product specialists are concerned (those upper tier tech support dudes) if your machine has gone in for the same issue 3 times in a row they will parlay for a machine swap. Got it done myself with a ibook that kept having the REA display scramble issue; and had a number of customers who had it done for various reasons.

[twopiearr.livejournal.com]

and the scary thing is?

this is the highest-rated company in the industry when it comes to customer service.

xn's over the top 2 cents

[ex-xn667.livejournal.com]

Mr. Steven P. Jobs
Chief Exec. Officer and Director

Mr. Timothy D. Cook
Exec. VP of Worldwide Sales and Exec. VP of Worldwide Operations

Dr. Avadis Tevanian Jr., Ph.D.
Chief Software Technology Officer and Sr. VP

Mr. Ronald B. Johnson
Sr. VP Retail

Mr. Jonathan Rubinstein
Sr. VP of iPod Division

Apple Computer Inc.
1 Infinite Loop
Cupertino, CA 95014
Phone: 408-996-1010

I've used this technique successfully with Verizon and Comcast for much small dollar values, so I can't see why it wouldn't work here. Personally, I'd start with Ronald Johnson's office. Assume that whatever secretary a Sr. VP has makes more than call center stiffs. As nicely and politely as possible explain that you really hate to bother them with your issue but thus far you have had no success going through normal channels, so a) you're really hoping this *incredibly* busy person with far better things to do can help you reach a satisfactory resolution, and b) you thought that executive management should be directly aware of the kind of waste their distant inferiors are engaged in. Optional bluff, "as a stockholder..." ;) I ran into no negativity from the executive offices in either of those cases. If anything, they actually seemed to appreciate that I'd escalated the matter. You know how shielded those execs are from reality, heh.

By contrast, when we were having an Amazon issue at work and getting support through normal channels wasn't working, I used the same trick. The first response was "how did you get this number?" When I explained that anyone with an internet connection and the ability to click through Yahoo Finance to the corporate profile could have the info freely if they thought to get it and reiterated my concerns, I was patched through to a human being inside of 5 mins. Resolved.

Heck, I even got a follow up call from some Verizon exec's office the week after they fixed everything, just to make sure I was satisfied.

Fun, monkey-wrenching, satisfying, and polite, all in one fell swoop :)