[personal profile] rootofnewt
Wanted: Chicago area friend for [livejournal.com profile] jkatj. For some reason, she wants a man-friend, but maybe what she really wants is someone who can handle sheetrock and power tools. Or maybe she just wants to talk to someone who is more masculine than she is, but not to the point of spitting tobaccy juice into a styrofoam cup. In addition, I think she needs a wider social circle. A love for Duran Duran or horrible cover songs is probably essential, but she might be willing to compromise. Wacky sense of humor, a fondness for literary criticism, willingness to put up with migrating cat hair, and non-stalker traits preferable. She has a distinct intolerance for backstabbing and she's paranoid about squid getting into the litterbox. She likes rainbows more than you do and she'll stomp you with her combat boots if you challenge her on it.

What's more, she's painfully shy, so people who are willing to zap her with tasers are probably a wise choice. She's not pathetic, but she'll probably think I'm making her sound that way by putting this notice up. I'm just trying to prevent her from turning into a crazy cat lady . . . or something. Drop her an email and get together to build a potato gun, I promise you won't regret it.

Date: 2005-04-09 05:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jkatj.livejournal.com
Me too. I'd make you, in all your 75 lb. glory, scare away the bad people. And then I'd feed you candy.

Date: 2005-04-09 05:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jezbian.livejournal.com
ps - if you're still living there in two years when me and jesse decide to move cross-country to seattle, would you let us crash at your place for a night or two and let us tickle you and force chocolate upon you and make you watch bad italian horror flicks and/or duran duran concert tapes?

keep in mind we would be bringing a menagerie.

Date: 2005-04-09 05:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jkatj.livejournal.com
Let's see -- tiny studio apartment, 4 cats . . . wait . . . 5 (you have one, right?), 2 snakes, 14 ferrets, a dog, 33 fishes, a pair of miniature 3-legged ponies, a handmade afghan, you, jesse, and me? It'll be a tight fit, I can promise you that.

You won't let the miniature 3-legged ponies poop on the carpet wiil you?

Date: 2005-04-09 05:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jezbian.livejournal.com
i love you, j :P

no poop for you.

Date: 2005-04-09 05:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jkatj.livejournal.com
85 pounds??? You fat little fatty. I cannot be your friend any longer.

Date: 2005-04-09 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jezbian.livejournal.com
-sobs- i KNOW. it's TRUE. go ahead - i don't deserve your friendship. -cry-

Date: 2005-04-09 05:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] krasota.livejournal.com
Come to Charlottesville, I'll take you to Crozet and feed you contaminated SuperFund pond scum. That should knock some pounds off of ya.

In all seriousness, I need more hecklers for the Silent Muse show tomorrow night. There's only a few of us, plus the bar heckler. More hecklers are always welcome. Heckle heckle.

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