sometimes, there are too many choices...

[rootofnewt]

so i'm in the mood for some more music. all day, i listened to a scrambled mix of Shane McGowan and the Popes (two albums), the Pogues (1 album), Voltaire (1 album), and Sarah MacLachlan.

So now I'm in the mood for something different. With 600 CDs to choose from, this should be an easy task. Of course not. Skold, Mike Patton, Skinny Puppy, Faith No More, Enigma, Fantomas, Enya, Garmarna, the Gathering, Rasputina... There are too many choices. There's stuff in those cabinets I didn't even know we OWNED. Yet there they are, sitting in their dust free little shelves.

So I found Brendan Perry's solo album. Calm, soothing... I'd rather listen to something which will pump me up, but my ears want crooning. I can't wait for the next Fantomas--it will perfectly suit my nighttime needs.

Anyhow, the doctor got sick of me calling daily, so she prescribed Neurontin. This is after she attempted to prescribe Elavil. Been in that hell once before, no thanks. I don't know how long I'll take the Neurontin, since the neurologist will want me off of it for the EMG, I just hope it helps some of this pain.

Of course, for kicks I read the adverse side effects. I'm one of those kids who gets the worse of the worst with most meds. Advil makes me hallucinate. Trazadone made me believe my teeth were engaged in a conspiracy against me.

I'm sorry, my teeth should NOT mutiny. I sustain them with blood, nerves, and oxygen.

Needless to say, this is why I avoid meds and attempt to manage my health on my own, whatever the cost. Of course, sometimes I need help.

So, I have to ask my epileptic friends... Are all anti-convulsants this risky? Do they all have these horrifying potential side effects? I know the brain is grossly misunderstood, but DAMN! they don't allow painkillers on the market which have a "Frequent" side effect list including anorexia, flatulence, hostility, pneumonia, etc. Okay, so they do... Frankly, I'm looking forward to the "strange feelings", lip hemorrhage, antisocial reaction, testicle pain, odd smell, and skin necrosis. (Those are classified rare and infrequent, btw.)

I've listed a small sampler of the adverse effects listed.

That doesn't even account for the dizziness, ataxia, and sleepiness expected from this type of med. I use "expected" loosely. Folks, I'm a guinea pig. They don't know how or why this drug works. Since the alternative is not washing my hair until I can stand, I guess I'll take it.

Yes, I think this is funny. I cracked up reading this med sheet out loud during dinner. My husband freaked out, but did find certain elements funny. Would we laugh if one of them afflicted me? Yes, but it would be a bitter laugh.

Anyhow, I'm slightly more mobile. Dizzier, but I was dizzy before I took the med. That's just one of the parts of fibro and cfids that gets out of control when I can't sleep.

So I'll take my Melantonin soon and find a book for half an hour... Then I'll sleep the sleep of the restless. I'm in a good mood, though. Back to my normal, feisty, cynical self.

BTW, does anyone know an antidote for dizziness? It's not causing too much nausea (got ginger for that), but it's affecting my mobility. When I'm standing, it's the "room falling up, i'm blacking out" dizziness that causes things to fade. It lasts after I've been upright for awhile, assuming I don't fall down immediately. If it's blood pressure, I don't know how I could add more salt to my diet without turning into a a mummy. While sitting, my couch turns one way, the room spins the other, and the floor moves up and down in waves.

Odd. Maybe I should try painting my view. Of course, the easel would tilt the wrong way most of the time.

So it goes...

Comments

[queensheba.livejournal.com]

I'm not an epileptic, but I have taken a lot of the anticonvulsants as antimanics...I've taken Neurontin (*very* briefly), Depakote, and am currently on Topamax. One thing I notice with all of them/a lot of them is kind of a vague "stupid" feeling initially - the literature describes it as "mental slowness." It eventually goes away, at least for me - trouble finding the right words, slow thinking, hesitation, etc. Also, with some, you have tingling in hands/feet, or a vague sensation that your limbs are twitching, when really, they aren't actually moving. All of my side effects except for really mild ones have gone away, though, and overall, the meds have helped me a lot more than they've hurt me. I haven't had any of the horrible side effects you've described...sorry! I feel for you:(

that's reassuring

[krasota.livejournal.com]

i was just listing the ones which amused me. yeah, the mental slowness is no big deal. the tingling arms/legs--that's why i'm taking it. ;) numbness, tingling, and nerve pain.

we'll see.

thanks for writing. :)

the devil's drug

[jkatj.livejournal.com]

I was on neurontin for a while. It was, predictably, bad for me. I felt "weird" all the time. I couldn't really function at my job. I can't remember what all the side-effects were, but I was out of it. All the time. I hated the feeling. And yet, I CRAVED the drug. I had trouble getting off of it, even though they said it was non-habit forming. I had no positive effects at all. But that's no more unusual for me than it is for you, I reckon.

Good luck. I hope the spinning stops soon and you get some relief. {{ygg}}

Mental slowness my ASS

[michellew.livejournal.com]

queensheba, I know we've had this conversation before in email, but I had to jump in here.

Yes, the side effects listed for a lot of AEDs are truly horrifying (neural tube defects, ofr example, are always a pleasure to contemplate). On the other hand, there's a phenomenon known as "kindling" which basically means that once your brain follows the seizure path a couple of times, it becomes easier with every seizure. Every seizure increases the chances of status seizures. And for every bit of "mental slowness" from Topamax or Neurontin or whatever, there's someone else who experiences worse from the actual seizures.

But, yeah, the side effects lists are scary. Even scarier is the fact that I am completely unfazed by them. Like with everything else, every person's response is individual, so you never can tell until you try it.