(no subject)

[rootofnewt]

i'm cold.

and i'm scared.

this is all moving way too fast.

i have to go into dc tomorrow (and some hour that officially Does Not Exist) for this damn surgery.

the meds weren't sufficient.

if anything, it's HARDER to breathe now. :/

so, they get to go in, snatch a piece of my pericardium for biopsy, install a tube/drain... and then let me sit with a drain under my boob for a day or two.

and i'm not too thrilled about being in the hospital for the weekend. for starters, i can't eat hospital food. ever tried to prepare food for a vegetarian with severe food allergies (soy being the big one)? hospitals are notorious for not feeding food allergics properly. hopefully boy will be able to find hummus, pita, apples, cheese, taco bell. you know--essentials.

meanwhile, i will be bored... i'll probably try to see if i can steal the phone line and use my modem (if i can dial out locally without hitting the hospital operator, i'm safe).

i'll take books, but the one i'm reading is big and heavy. it's probably too heavy to hold up when i'm tired and tube-under-my-boob-y.

the staff is all scared to death about my latex allergy. i don't blame them--i avoid my doctor's office because of this. walking into a hospital takes serious courage. and i'm worried that if i do react, they'll give me something i'm allergic to (like benadryl). i know that they have all my records, but will they remember to look if i'm going into anaphylactic shock because the anaesthesiologist didn't do zir homework and gave me an anaesthetic containing and/or derived from soy?

*sigh*

did i mention that i'm scared?

and i can't shower from tomorrow morning until i come home (sunday if i'm lucky).

so i'm gonna be a stinky, itchy, tired, starving mess who's really grumpy because she's wearing her glasses.

and i'll be having flashbacks to when i was eight years old and having my tonsils out and not knowing what the hell was going on because the doctors talked to my mom, not me. now, the doctors talk way too fast for me. i'm on pain meds, i'm short of breath, it's all i can do to look awake and not fall over... i can't exactly think on my feet here.

i'm scared.

Comments

[fluzby.livejournal.com]

Have a heavy marking pen and paper? In BIG letters, you or boy need to write down your "worst" allergies like the benadryl, latex, etc. and bring some tape in with you tomorrowand tape up the sign in a conspicuous place.

Nurses are super overworked and stressed out. Help them out a little. =)

I'm so sorry to hear that you have to have this done. I'll keep you in my thoughts tomorrow and this weekend.