rootofnewt | i didn't ask for this

I really despise pain. Most of the time I can bear it and I have a really high tolerance, but nights like tonight, I just want to curl up inside of myself. I've got the laptop on my lap because the heat soothes my leg muscles, but I wish I could have a laptop for my neck, shoulders, wrists, arms, feet, head, knees, and everything in between.

I think it's ridiculous that doctors expect fibromites to put up with pain. This pain is often worse than that from a non-compound fracture. It's all-consuming and relentless. Yet, we're expected to get by without any type of relief all too often. Since I'm in my twenties, the docs say "Oh, it can't be that bad... besides, you don't want to get used to the pain meds when you've still got 50 years ahead of you."

I'm sorry, it IS that bad and I don't care how much longer I live, because the pain is here NOW. Judging by my family, I've got another century to live. I do NOT want to live another century in chronic pain. I've already dealt with it for a few too many years as it is. I'm twenty-five. Gimme a break.