today's rant, because i should be doing other stuff...

[rootofnewt]

I've been a vegetarian for nearly a decade now. I read vegetarian newsgroups, participate in vegetarian recipe listservs, and read vegetarian communities on LJ.

And there are some people I just don't understand...

Teenagers who choose to go vegetarian and then bitch that their parents won't cook complex meals for them.
Okay, when I went veggie, I was a teenager. I also lived away from home. My mother put some effort into cooking for me when I visited, but she basically just chose to have vegetarian side dishes. She did do nice things like set aside spaghetti sauce before adding meatballs, but she didn't complain a lot. I really appreciate the extra work she did, but she didn't have to do it. If I was hungry, I could fend for myself. I learned how to cook when I was young. My mother, fortunately, was willing to pick up veggie burgers, hummus, and other foods for me. And she was interested in finding new recipes because she wanted to cook heart healthy for my dad.

Still, though, is it that hard for a teenager to be responsible for zir own food? I do find it rather irresponsible when parents won't even *provide* food (veggie burgers, tofu, etc) beyond pasta and rice for the kid, but I know that some budgets are limited.

Husbands who expect their veg*n wives to still cook meat, and wives who still expect they must cook meat for their hubbies.
I'm sure this could be reversed, but I haven't seen it yet.

This is just nuts, especially when both spouses work. Why should a vegetarian wife be obligated to cook something for her husband when she won't even be eating it? It's stupid. I'm glad I have a husband who knows better than this. Our common meals are vegetarian. If he wants meat, he cooks it on his own and cleans it up entirely. It's not my responsibility. Until a year ago, we didn't even have meat in the house unless he had leftovers from a restaurant. I'll pick up lunchmeat for him at the deli now, and sometimes I'll pick up chicken or fish or beef for him. I don't cook it, I don't eat it, I don't clean it up. He's a big boy, he can feed himself.

No, he didn't learn how to cook (much) when he was growing up, but he can cook now. And when he doesn't know how to cook something, I have no problems giving him advice or suggestions. I've even picked up cookbooks for him and sought out recipes for interesting meat dishes for him, but that's the extent of my involvement. Yes, I was vegetarian before he met me, but if I decided to stop eating wheat, he would eat whatever replacement I offered. It's not a hardship, it's not going to ruin his life. And if he really wants something I won't cook, he can make it himself. Is my husband remarkably more progressive than most? Is he just afraid of incurring my wrath? Or is he just sufficiently secure with his manhood that he realizes he can skip meat and not risk having his penis fall off?

People who assume vegetarians eat fish and poultry and, somtimes, pork.
I'm well aware that in some cultures, only beef is meat. I don't eat animals, though, and this extends to anything in Animalia, including fish.

Comments

[xiane.livejournal.com]

In general, humans make some funny assumptions. The idea that ANYONE *has* to cook food for anyone else in the family, of any ilk [veg or meat], is weird and foreign to me, unless in the instances of "we need to save money by cooking large meals of one type". I think this all falls into the politeness zone - an example of that amazing lack of concern that many have for others' comfort and welfare... even the people they claim to love.

I just don't get that. My brain doesn't work that way, and I know yours doesn't either. *shrug*

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

When I'm veggie (which happens about one year in three), I cook veggie for my wife, and she doesn't complain.

Neither shalt thou eat of the fruit of the salmon tree.

[red-frog.livejournal.com]

Thankfully, I didn't have to live with this. My not eating cheese meant not that I cooked cheese for Scott (who did at least half the cooking anyway) but that he almost never ate it except at restaurants or when we--he--made antipasti plates.

Had he insisted that I make lasagna with cheese, he would have been being a jerk. And foolish, for I'm sure that good food does not come from ingredients with a smell that nauseates the cook.

[chorus-of-chaos.livejournal.com]

exploding cat is progressive. Most men get married for two reasons. a)sex b)someone to take care of them like mommy did.

I will admit himself cleans house on occasion, and cooks meals on occasion..mainly because I'm hurting to bad to do it, but I could do without his bitching about it.

So I have a stupid question...are you completely vegan, or do you use eggs and cheese? I've seen some recipes you've posted that mention cheese, but I didn't know if it was actual dairy cheese or a soy oh wait...couldn't be soy....well, some other class of cheese type stuff alternative? Just curious.

I personally don't care what other people eat, as long as they aren't wanting to stuff ME in a cookpot or, they expect me to eat like they do and blow me crap if I don't. My body is weird, I have a wierd diet, and nothing is going to change that. (shrug)

[krasota.livejournal.com]

i'm ovo-lacto vegetarian. i eat eggs and cheese, but i try to buy organic and local.

i try to avoid soft cheeses due to my lactose intolerance (which waxes and wanes, sometimes it's more severe, sometimes it's nearly non-existent). i don't eat cheeses which use penicillium cultures (brie, stilton, bleu, and other moldy cheeses) because of a rather severe allergy to penicillium bacteria.

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

What about bugs? I mean, I know they're Animalia... but I think bugs = excellent protein.

I think we should replace the meat industry here with worm-farms and cricket-ranches.

[krasota.livejournal.com]

what part of "no animalia" do you not understand, silly M? ;)

i don't intentionally eat bugs. i try to avoid killing them, too, but if an ant comes in my kitchen, i'll mix up poison.

worm farms and cricket ranches would be cool. :D boy is terrified of crickets, you know.

[briskpepper.livejournal.com]

Terrified of crickets? I guess we all have our fears. At least the insects that i run from screaming in a somewhat less-than-manly fashion tend to bite and/or sting in a rather aggressive manner. I knew a guy that was deathly afraid of moths, though, and that baffles me to no end.

[explodingcat.livejournal.com]

I'm gradually making peace with all bugs. Oddly enough, the first on my list were various stinging and biting ones. I've been friends with bees, spiders, yellow jackets, etc...for years. For some reason, crickets are at the bottom of my list. I knew a guy who was a afraid of butterflies. I can almost understand moths...often have creepy colors. But what about the cute bright colored butterflies? This guy was horrified by them.

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

I was five when I went vegetarian, and it took us about four years to discover veggie burgers (I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't available then, at least not in English supermarkets. It was certainly not an option at McD's and so on until I was almost an adult.) Didn't kill me or anything.

[windsea.livejournal.com]

"Husbands who expect their veg*n wives to still cook meat, and wives who still expect they must cook meat for their hubbies. I'm sure this could be reversed, but I haven't seen it yet. "

You just found the exception to the rule :-). H has been an ovo-lacto vegetarian for some time (4 years? things tend to blur when you've been together for, um, 24 or so years ...), but the kids and I are omnivores. He generally makes more breakfasts than I do, but I make more suppers.

I often cook something extra for Hal that I wouldn't do if he were still eating meat. i just think it's polite. Does he *expect* me to? No, in the sense that he's perfectly capable of feeding himself -- he is a grown-up. Yes, in the sense that I suspect he'd be hurt if I started making meals that were only for me and the kids.

Now, that being said, in most cases, we eat a wide enough range of food that it's not much trouble supplementing for H. Last night on the table, for example, we had roast asparagus, Greek salad, a mesclun salad, a loaf of crusty bread, steamed beet greens, and pot roast (and angel food cake with lemon gelato and my mum's strawberry preserves for dessert, yum). Hal didn't appear deprived without the pot roast :-). I put out some extra feta for him.

He occasionally does wind up cooking his own dinner, or something extra, but it's not all that often. However, we have a lot of meatless meals without being meatless eaters, if you follow me -- omelettes, large salads, pastas with veggies and cheese, etc. If he dropped egg and dairy he'd be cooking for himself a lot more, though :-)

I do draw the line at cooking ersatz 'meat' products, like tofu hot dogs. Gag.

We none of us have any food allergies, and we all, even the formerly picky older kid, have pretty eclectic tastes in food -- so that makes it easier. We may be omnivores, but we're not roast-beast-and-three-steamed-veg omnivores :-)

It was rather funny when he suddenly decided to go vegetarian -- it was the same week that I decided to try out a low carb/high protein method of eating. This made meal planning rather interesting until we got a few things sorted out.

[krasota.livejournal.com]

heh. I actually meant I haven't met any situations where an omnivorous wife expected her vegetarian husband to cook meat for her. ;)

your dinner sounds excellent. mmmm,asparagus.

[windsea.livejournal.com]

He's been known to cook dead critters for us too, especially when I'm pms-y and craving LOTS of bacon :-)

[stmaybe.livejournal.com]

i grew up in a family where the matriarchs had *strict* control over the food in the house. both my grandmother & my mother were the same about this.

everyone in the household ate three meals per day, one snack and maybe a dessert - at the exact same time each day. meals consisted of what mom or grandma had decided to cook. eating (or desiring to eat) something other than what was provided was unheard of & was a punishable crime. choosing not to eat a part of the provided meals was somehow worse than wishing for something else, like you'd done something horribly cruel & insulting.

when i started college, i started eating vegitarian. but to go home during vacation and suggest that i make myself a salad - you'd have thought i'd suggested cutting off one of their legs. they're a family of drama queens.

when k & i moved in together after college, the part that disturbed my grandmother the most was that i'd mentioned us each fixing our own meals. at the time i was still vegetarian & k wasn't. grandma was appalled - she kept asking, but how will he eat? not what, but *how* - like he couldn't operate a can opener & heat some soup without assistance & would die of starvation. i tried unsucessfully to stifle the laughter within me.

i do happen to do most of the cooking now, but that's because i enjoy it. still we often have meals when we eat together but each cooked what they wanted.

[lady-lion.livejournal.com]

My personal take on it is this...
If my Boy were unwilling to cook vegetarian meals for me, I know that I couldn't force him into doing so, but, initially, it would have significantly reduced the attraction factor for me. I don't expect him to make my every meal, but the ability/willingness to cook vegetarian meals is one of those qualities in a mate that is quite important to me. Also, when visiting family/friends for dinner, I expect that *something* will be provided by the host, although it doesn't necessarily need to be complex.

[drcuriosity]

I think your husband is probably more progressive than most. Evidence to hand would tend to indicate that you've got yourself one of the good ones :-)

While secure in my position in the food chain as an omnivore, I've found myself thinking more about vegetarian foodstuffs recently, or at least doing more interesting things with the vegetable matter on my plate. I'm moving soonish (I hope) and will be living with people who may have different tastes/dietary requirements.

Besides, given the number of cute vegetarian girls around, being able to cater good vegetarian food could be a useful life skill ;-)

I think New Zealand might be better-suited to vegetarian diets than many parts of the U.S. - we've always had a generally higher level of environmentally-conscious people, so even fairly mainstream food products tend to use vegetable fats/oils more than animal, and they label things like rennet vs. vegetarian rennin in cheeses and the like. Given our "clean green" image there's significant economic pressure for fewer pesticides and more organically-grown foods, too.

In which cultures is only beef meat? Curious.

[krasota.livejournal.com]

in Russian, the word myasa technically refers to beef (there's another word specifically for beef, too). it can also indicate pork, but that just depends on the speaker. poultry and fish are not meat. they're animals, but not meat. they're not eaten on Orthodox fast days (along with eggs and dairy), but they're not meat. ;)

i like my karaka... non-animal rennet is my friend. YAY!

it's one of my exceptions to the "buy local dairy" rule. i need a decently aged cheddar sometimes. and organic, rennet-free karaka is good AND it gives money to NZ.