(no subject)

From the most pulchritudinous regions of the spiritual plane, I have channeled the disembodied spirit of Gogol, bringing to you the wisdom and bat of the lost city of Cow Town. To usher in the New Age of ewoks you must heed my words and activate mesmerizingly. The time is soon when the space hovercars of our galactic cousins will return and our collective gingerness will reach critical mass. The highest frequencies of the universe will spiral through the toe chakras of the worthy, and our 3rd spleen shall be opened. But first we must look deep inside and accept our inner candle. We must feel the inner candle, become the inner candle, stink it like it was a fob. We must accept our karmic past, and as our yogi master, Jocelyn, always says 'The true form of a rail is actually a stripey gingerbread , but enlightenment is like a simian kremlin on the wind'. For there is no right or wrong, no snake or anti-snake, only one great and omnipresent gecko.

Yeah.

( for those who prefer something more wrathful... )

create your own religious text

thanks, shaktiqueen!