(no subject)

i normally have a fairly positive body image... sure, i'd sometimes like a flatter tummy, smaller bosom, or clearer skin, but i'm me and that's okay.

until something happens... like, say... boy's weight being within less than a pound of mine. o_O

granted, he's on the corn allergy diet, which is almost as filling and nutritious as the gulag diet of the 1950s, but EEEEEEK!

he's 6-7 inches taller than me. yes, he weighed less than this when i met him (20 pounds less or so), but *i* weighed about 30 pounds less then. and i try not to obsess about this stuff--i did way too much food-obsessing back when i was a starving teenager. no, thanks. not for me.

• i can't afford to lose weight. i have MCS and toxins are stored in my fat cells. if i burn fat, i re-expose myself to that stuff. my immune system is already in overdrive.
  
• i hate being getting dizzy, woozy, and falling down.
  
• if i lose my ass, my boobs will cause me to fall over. why bother screwing with a center of gravity i worked to hard to gain?
  
• my diet is sufficiently limited.
  

of course, i've been breaking out in hives for a few weeks now (it's currently a daily event) and i've developed yet ANOTHER reaction to contact lenses. maybe my body wants a nice pine box.




i'm allergic to pine.

(no subject)

happy happy birthday to saxey!!

:)

(no subject)

cleaning like a madwoman today...

must get guestroom clean/tidy for pace and his friend, aaron. must also tidy kitchen and main room. bathroom is mostly tidy.

boy has been too sick this week to help out at all. finally had a good night's sleep myself, so i'm working working working, taking breaks to breathe and rest. if i try to go too hard, i'll be dead.

tonight, going out with ismene, ashbet, charlie, and kyle. brandon (my little brother, pace) and aaron aren't into goths and will probably just want to stay home and hang out with boy. or maybe they'll go out to eat.

*sigh*

back to work.