i understand all too well; it's grieving for who you once were and who you might have been...
in some ways i feel like i've lost my mind twice. first, with the anaphylaxis when i lost a lot of short-term memory and most of my childhood. second, from mommyhood (or the associated pain).
i branched off onto a different path after the first incident. with this whole boo-boo-mommy thing, i simply feel like a walking retard. sadly, i think my hubby agrees. he didn't know me when i had all my buttons, but he can certainly see the decline since we had the first baby.
on the bright side, after 20 years, i can sometimes recall a tidbit of my childhood. it gives me hope that one day i might be somewhat close to the person my husband married.
i'm so sorry, sweetie. {{hugs}} there aren't any adequate words to give; only compassion and understanding. i so wish you weren't going through this.
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Date: 2005-12-14 06:39 pm (UTC)in some ways i feel like i've lost my mind twice. first, with the anaphylaxis when i lost a lot of short-term memory and most of my childhood. second, from mommyhood (or the associated pain).
i branched off onto a different path after the first incident. with this whole boo-boo-mommy thing, i simply feel like a walking retard. sadly, i think my hubby agrees. he didn't know me when i had all my buttons, but he can certainly see the decline since we had the first baby.
on the bright side, after 20 years, i can sometimes recall a tidbit of my childhood. it gives me hope that one day i might be somewhat close to the person my husband married.
i'm so sorry, sweetie. {{hugs}} there aren't any adequate words to give; only compassion and understanding. i so wish you weren't going through this.