Thanks, Magi

[rootofnewt]

LOVE IS NICE

a romantic comedy screenplay by

www.astonishingtales.com

and

krasota.livejournal.com

FADE IN.

INT. TRENDY CAFE

KATE WINSLET is lovelorn and sad. She is complaining to her best friend Jos about the lovelorn and sad state of her life.

KATE WINSLET

Oh, Jos, do you think that I will ever find my true love? I am so lovelorn and sad. Surely, you, as my best friend, have some wisdom to offer

Jos

I'm not sure--he was speaking in a mixture of dynamic, dramatic sweeping statements and barely spoken mumbles.

KATE WINSLET laughs

KATE WINSLET

Hahahahahaha. How delightfully witty you are, Jos

Suddenly, RICHARD GERE wanders into the cafe. He accidentally spills a drink on KATE WINSLET.

RICHARD GERE

I'm so sorry.

KATE WINSLET

You clumsy jerk, RICHARD GERE! Why don't you look where you're going?

RICHARD GERE apologises again and leaves

KATE WINSLET

(staring after him)

What a creep.

Jos

Anyhow, I wasn't terribly cold while we were flyering, despite the very cold wind.

KATE WINSLET

Boy you said it, Jos. (sighs) I certainly hope I never see him again.

CUT TO.

INT. CONFERENCE HALL

THE NEXT DAY

KATE WINSLET and Jos are both at a conference.

KATE WINSLET

I don't believe it, Jos! It's that horrible man I instantly disliked. (Gasps) Oh no, he's coming this way. What should I say to him?

Jos

My new shoes have a moisture wicking "air conditioning" system built in.

KATE WINSLET

I'm not sure that's quite appropriate.

RICHARD GERE wanders up sheepishly.

RICHARD GERE

Hello, KATE WINSLET. We meet again.

KATE WINSLET

Go away, RICHARD GERE. Don't you know that I took an instant dislike to you?

RICHARD GERE

(whispering to KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM)

What can I say to make her love me?

KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

(whispering back)

By the way--for those who wondered, my shoes are "Stonefly" brand.

RICHARD GERE shrugs and dutifully whispers this in KATE WINSLET's ear

KATE WINSLET

(swooning)

I love you, RICHARD GERE

FADE TO.

INT. KATE WINSLET's BEDROOM.

KATE WINSLET is on the phone to KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM.

KATE WINSLET

Oh... KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM, can it really be only a week since I met RICHARD GERE? I am so very deeply in love with him. Do you know what he said to me last night?

KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

I generally read for about half an hour before I turn out the light.

KATE WINSLET

(nodding)

Exactly. (sighs) He's such a romantic.

Her phone beeps.

KATE WINSLET

(continued)

That's him on Call Waiting! Gotta go. Thanks for listening KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM. Wish me luck.

KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

Boy needs to print out the flyer for me.

KATE WINSLET

Well, I'm not sure that's particularly lucky...

FADE TO.

EXT. A PARK BENCH

KATE WINSLET is crying. KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM is consoling her.

KATE WINSLET

I can't believe we accidentally saw RICHARD GERE out with another woman! I thought he loved me. You were closest to the two of them, what was he saying to her?

KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

-- incredibly earthy with a very subtle tang.

KATE WINSLET bursts into renewed tears. RICHARD GERE comes running up to them.

KATE WINSLET

I don't want to talk to you, RICHARD GERE. I heard what you were saying to that horrible other woman.

RICHARD GERE

But KATE WINSLET, this is all a ghastly misunderstanding of some kind.

KATE WINSLET

Leave me alone. I have a broken heart.

RICHARD GERE

I guess I will take that job in that other country then.

RICHARD GERE leaves

KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

-- i'm guessing it's for her theater audience class or something.

KATE WINSLET

Thank you, KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM. That's just what I needed to hear now that I have a broken heart. No wonder you are my best friend.

CUT TO.

INT. A BUSY AIRPORT

THE NEXT DAY

RICHARD GERE is preparing to leave forever.

CUT TO.

INT. A TAXI

KATE WINSLET

Hurry, TAXI DRIVER. RICHARD GERE is about to get on a plane and leave forever and I've just realised that it is because of a ghastly misunderstanding.

TAXI DRIVER

Sorry, KATE WINSLET, but we are in a traffic jam that has dramatically sprung up in order to create dramatic tension.

KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM suddenly climbs on top of the roof of the taxi.

KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

(yelling)

-- my nipples might very well pop off my chest and run away.

The other cars, hearing what KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM has to say, suddenly all pull over and let the taxi through. It races to the airport just in time.

KATE WINSLET

(yelling)

RICHARD GERE! RICHARD GERE!! Don't go! I understand now that it was all a ghastly misunderstanding.

RICHARD GERE

Okay. I won't go.

He doesn't go.

KATE WINSLET

I love you, RICHARD GERE.

RICHARD GERE

I love you, KATE WINSLET.

KRASOTA.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

Mainly, I'm enjoying the incidental music and sound.

RICHARD GERE and KATE WINSLET

Hahahahahaha!!!!