Aug. 7th, 2001

rootofnewt: (jude)
So the hives that came to a head Monday morning were an allergic reaction to hydrocodone.

I'm back to life without painkillers, sleep, or relief... And I'm at the end of my rope.

I hadn't realized how tenuous my grasp on sanity was. I didn't realize how close to the edge I'd come. My pain management cost me my career, my social life, and my housework... Now I don't have any of it, nor do I see how I'll cope for the next month until the neurologist can see me. And I don't have any guarantees that he'll be able to help me.

This is not something I can handle. My doctor is afraid to prescribe anything else because of my allergies. There are still a couple families of painkillers I haven't been exposed to, so why the hell can't I try them now? She should know that something was up when I actually ASKED for painkillers. I avoid them at all costs.

It's not like me to sit and cry, but I have a feeling that's what I'll be doing. It's all I have left to do.
rootofnewt: (jude)
there's a rainbow on my wall, but i can't touch it.

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