:/

[rootofnewt]

Another one of my father's relatives (an aunt this time) has died. I didn't know Frieda well, but she was one of the few women in my grandfather's family whom i could always recognize.

She was always a vibrant woman. She got sick a couple years ago and, for a year, was treated for insulin-dependent diabetes. Then they discovered she wasn't diabetic, but in the mid-stages of Parkinson's. Last weekend, she fell and broke her leg while visiting a relative. She went into surgery to pin the leg and never came out from the anaesthetic. She was in a coma for a week. They unplugged life support yesterday and she passed on in the afternoon.

I'm mourning Frieda, but I think I'm really mourning future losses. I'm well aware that my parents are not immortal, nor are my living grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, lovers, friends, or myself. While I accept death as a necessary and natural part of life, I have a real problem accepting loss.

And I know that, as my grandparents' generation slowly passes on, my parents' gets closer. My great-grandmother is probably immortal.

My dad is driving down to Mississippi (from Indiana) today. I'm worried about him, but mom says he has his orders. I'm not sure whether those orders are to avoid stress, avoid death, or come back home. Probably all of the above. He had a series of heart attacks three years ago and, after trying to go back to work, is now retired. For a 51-year old Type A, that was an extremely hard blow.

I wish I could be with him.

Comments

{{{{{{ygg}}}}}}}

[jkatj.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry about your great aunt. And the issues her passing have left you contemplating, no matter how normal and natural, are absolutely no fun.

I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

[magn0lia.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry about Frieda. You're in my thoughts today, and the rest of your family too.

[anmorata.livejournal.com]

Ditto what she said. *hugs* to you and your family, ygg.

~kel

[silkything.livejournal.com]

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry for your loss *hugs*. And the realisation that it bought about. It's always a shock when the knowledge of mortality hits you. I hope that you manage to work through it to a place of peacefulness.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[quietshell.livejournal.com]

I hear ya, with regards to mourning future losses. I am scared sick about the day that my parents will pass. Terrified. I also have a problem accepting loss, yet am quite aware of the immortality.

Sorry to hear the news of your great aunt Frieda .... and also sorry that you couldn't be with your dad in Mississippi. Hopefully you're doing better today ...

You're in my thoughts,

~Shell

{{{hugs}}}

[dahliablue.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss..My thoughts are with you and your family through this very difficult time. I also hope you can find some peace while you sort through the tough feelings of our mortality..I know what this is like, especially after losing my mother's parents a few years ago. Take care of yourself, ygg..