sometimes, it hits hard.

I have been in pain every single day for over seven years now. It's gotten to the point where I honestly don't really know if I have more bad days than good. I'm always in chronic muscular pain, so that doesn't really factor into my good/bad day determination. Today, I have a nasty headache and my back is killing me. It's this additional pain that can sometimes tip the scale. The pain that shoots up my neck into my head can be excruciating and looking at the laptop doesn't help. The thing is, I'm not bitter or angry or sad or depressed. I just am. This is how life is. I hurt. I sometimes fall down in a sudden drop attack. Those are just things that happen. I'm exceedingly happy when I look over at my snoozing dog. I feel loved and love in turn when I see my husband.

And I suddenly shocked at how I can be in so much pain that it hurts to breathe, yet I consider this a good day.