i hate having chapped lips.

they itch, ache, burn. and take forever to heal.

Anyhow, I should probably be in bed, but I don't have to get up until noon tomorrow, so I'll stay up for another hour... maybe less.

I have the EMG/NCV tomorrow. I'm kinda worried. I'm not terribly fond of needles nor of outside electric current when it comes into contact with my body. I'm sure I can withstand it. My pain tolerance is high. The way I figure it, though, this test is more mentally and emotionally fatiguing than physically.

Ah, well. I bribed a friend into taking me to the hospital tomorrow, so I don't have to spend two hours one-way on public transit. If he decides to take me home, as well, I'll have it made. I promised him dinner or supper. I really hope he chooses something easy--like take-out. ;) Somehow, I don't think I'll be up for cooking. I still haven't had a chance to recover from the weekend.

I can't remember if I mentioned it, but my B12 is low. It's actually borderline normal by most standards, but the neuro wants it above 240 (dunno what units). Mine is at 170. He said my vegetarian diet might be to blame. I dunno. Dairy has been quite prominent in my diet, much to my digestive system's irritation. And I had the neuropathy symptoms long before I went veggie. It's also possible that my body just doesn't absorb B12 well from the digestive tract. In that case, I'll get to have regular injections. Yea rah.

It's a damn good thing I got over my needle phobia. It was fairly easy, if challenging. I simply attempted to donate blood several times once I turned 17. Since I was horribly anemic, I was turned away after a pinprick test. Sure, no needles--but I was steeling myself up for it. After going veggie, I was shocked one day to find myself with a normal iron count and a big ol' needle slurping away my blood.

I donated regularly until I pierced my own ear in 1996 and the Red Cross wouldn't take my blood for awhile. Then I got sick in 1997 and the CDC said they didn't want my kind. From the time I was 17 until I was 20, I also received allergy shots--those are the reason *why* I decided to rid myself of the phobia in the first place.

Darn good thing I did. I've had so much blood taken these last few years that I've accused the lab techs of having a vampire bar in the dark corridors of the hospital basement. I asked for a cut of the profit, as I possess a delightful AB negative with thick red coloring and a taste that hints of rust, pennies, and berries.

Okay, that's just disturbing.

I shouldn't think or ramble so much.

blah

Normal. Yes, my EMG and NCV were normal, except for a weird reading on the outside of my right knee... a nerve problem that I probably don't even notice, since I don't sit cross-legged or in the lotus position. So, all the docs were positive I had peripheral neuropathy, but I do *not*. Nor do I apparently have CTS, despite being symptomatic (severely so, at some points) since age 16. I was diagnosed with *that*,too, but the docs didn't want to subject me to the EMG unless I needed surgery.

I don't know *why*. The EMG wasn't that bad. I've definitely had worse. The NCV wasn't horrid, either. I've inflicted worse jolts on myself. I'd rate the pain about a 1-2 on a scale of 1-10, with the pain in my feet today being around a 6 (difficult to walk without wincing). A month ago, the foot pain was around 10, with the fibro pain at 10 as well. That's what happens when I can't get good sleep. I was curled up in the fetal position, rocking and crying for a good week or two there.

Now they want me on oral B12 for a month. At that point, the doc will check my levels. If they haven't improved, I get to take B12 injections. If the levels haven't gone up after that, they get to test for pernicious anemia. No matter what, if my symptoms haven't improved in 3 months, the neuro wants to start testing for a bunch of CNS things.

gah.

How can I *look* so healthy, inside and out, yet be in so much pain?

I hope the B12 works, but I'm not holding my breath. These problems started back when I was a meat eater. I had plenty of B12 in my diet back then. And I have plenty in my diet now, being a voracious cheese/yogurt monster. My body hates lactose, but I gobble it up. I have a feeling my body has personal issues with B12.

Oh, well. At least I don't have nerve damage to worry about. Just unexplainable pain, burning, tingling, and numbness.