It's amazing what a simple anti-inflammatory can do. Yes, I'm still in pain, but the pain that pushed me over the edge--the headache which sent me to bed Monday night and awoke me Tuesday morning--is gone. It was just a headache.

Head pain is something that quickly pushes me over. I'm not sure why. It's all centered in my jaw, which is out of alignment (TMJD). I had horrid migraines in high school, but I underwent treatment around that time and while I was in college, and eventually those daily migraines ceased. I still get one or two a year--especially if I eat something crunchy, chewy, or hard. Stress can also bring them on, and I'm guessing yesterday's popcorn and the recent stress made me clench my teeth a little too much and irritated that susceptible joint in my head.

Boy came home, found me listless and in bed and realized I was very close to a scars-in-palms inducing migraine. He scoured the house for my old meds and then ran to the store for some alleve (miraculously enough, naproxen does worlds for me at times) and convinced me to swallow a couple with some Dr. Pepper.

He's such a good boy. I ended up sitting up for dinner and laughing at him. I'm still angry about the rest of my pain. It's still very close to the edge--closer than I it want to be.

Tomorrow is Wednesday, maybe I can convince boy to give me a massage after work. I'll need it after talking to my doc.
I'm smiling right now. I'm in one of those moods of joyful, ebullient love. That guy who lives with me, the one I simply refer to as "boy", my husband, he of the ultra-long eyelashes and impossibly deep eyes... he's the most important thing in the world to me.

Sometimes that scares me, but not now. Right now I'm thinking of how lucky I am to have him. We've had rough times, dark times, times I'm surprised neither of us called it quits.

We're so alike in many ways. If we're watching tv, we'll both end up laughing at the same things. We add our own commentary and often end up jinxing each other. We like the same kind of music, though we do branch off (he goes for noise and I go for oldies and novelty tunes).

And we're different, too. He can't stand to attract attention, preferring instead to blend into the crowd. I don't care whether I attract attention, but I do tend to wear stripey tights, corsets, and crinolines in public. He's terrified of bugs, I'm hysterical around spiders. I'm pagan, he's Catholic. He can create the most beautiful music, while I can only perfect a piece mechanically, yet my casseroles are always spot on.

I'm not sure how a quiet, monogamous, creative boy ended up with an outgoing, poly (but i'm trying really hard--and successfully--to perfect this monogamy thing), and flighty bi girl. I know that it works.

He meets me after work to help me carry groceries home. I get a goodbye kiss every morning, even if I start screaming at him to "Kill IT!" (I say odd things in my sleep.) I'm very chaotic and yet he quietly attempts to introduce order to our life.

I honestly never envisioned a future like this. Settling down with a guy, contemplating a future with children (no time soon, though), being too ill to support myself, and being happy. I'm loved and I'm in love.

December 2016

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